Leah, in the Lititz Record-Express office was willing to take my classified ad, but then she told me that I would have to pay for it. I'm too cheap to do that so I decided to run my ad here in my space and let them pay me for it.

WANTED--$5,500,000. Local idea guy looking for an investor for the Lititz-Manheim-Lancaster Junction Railroad. Check, money order, Visa, Master Card, American Express, Diners Card and cash accepted. Mail to L-M-LJRR, PO Box 77, Lititz, PA 17543-0077.

The way I have it figured, that is about what it would cost to buy the right-of-way from Norfolk Southern, re-install the sidings at the businesses along the line and purchase the rolling stock. We would also have to strike a deal with the Lititz Springs Park Board and the Manheim Historical Society for the use of their stations and we would have the wade through the regulatory muddle to set up a station near Park City or arrange to use the Amtrak Station in Lancaster. What we end up with are the following income sources.

As owner of the spur the L-M-LJRR would pick up the commercial freight business that now keeps the spur open.

Our hometown railroad would then be able to operate a schedule between Lancaster and Lititz. From a kiosk at Park City Center a tourist buys a round-trip day ticket to Lititz and checks off food items on a lunch sheet. The tourist boards the train and is left off at Water Street where a guide is waiting to take them to the Sturgis Pretzel House, Linden Hall, Church Square, Main Street residences and shops and on to Lititz Springs Park. While on the walk they stop at one of the delis and pick up their picnic lunch (the order was faxed from the Park City kiosk). After lunch and some leisurely moments along Carter's Run, they visit the Wilbur Candy Americana Museum and backtrack to a store to buy that perfect gift for Aunt Winnie before boarding the train for the trip back to Park City.

Frank (not his real name) lives near Spring Lake and works in Philadelphia. He spends an hour going to work and probably even more coming home each day. Or he spends half an hour driving to Lancaster to take a train to Philadelphia. Soon he will be able to drive to Lititz and park in the municipal lot adjacent to the railroad tracks (don't look for it because it hasn't been built yet) and hops the next train to Lancaster Station where he gets off on one side of the platform and walks to the Amtrak commuter that just pulled in to the other side of the platform. He returns home the same way.

Ralph (not her real name) lives in Lititz and needs to pick up her order at the Lane Bryant Store at Park City. For less than the cost of the gas that her Ford Conquistador (not its real name) SUV would guzzle to make the trip, she takes the train. Her neighbor Betty (her real name, but she recently had it changed) is on that same train with her, but she is on her way to the Lancaster Amtrak Station to take a bus to downtown Lancaster for lunch at the Red Rose Restaurant. Another friend, Bernard (his real name but he hates it), is catching a train to Pittsburgh while Enrique is taking a Greyhound bus to State College. Get the idea? (Bernard and Enrique are both in the witness protection program and you wouldn't know them if you met them).

And now the biggie. The second Saturday in August when the population of Lititz goes from 8,000 to about 45,000 people, 80% of who are either in the park or on Main Street. The annual Rotary Craft Show. After the Manheim Auto Auction sells all of its cars on Friday, we rent the auction for Saturday and have everyone park there and take the train to Lititz Springs Park. That way my friend Rebecca on Lincoln Ave. will not find someone blocking her garage again this year.

It sounds strange, but it is doable. All of this for less than Six Million Bucks. The address is PO Box 77, Lititz PA 17543-0077. I'll be looking for a check.