As a public service we offer these hints, tips & rules for moving into and learning to get along in Lititz. Some are explained, some are unexplained and some simply defy explanation. We leave it to thee, gentle reader, to determine both the reality and veracity of these observations.

• Persons moving into new houses in new developments that create artificially neighborhoods should not bother to learn the names of their neighbors since each year more than one third of them will move out, surpassing the national average.
• Persons moving into homes in the established neighborhoods should memorize the names and entire genealogy of everyone on the block. However, none (OK, few) of them will talk to you or remember your name until you are no longer a newcomer. Passing from newcomer status requires a minimum of 15 years but usually longer-it is rumored that the Lititz Welcome Wagon Newcomer's Club was the only one in the nation with a 50 year membership pin.
• Persons moving across the street after 22 years or less revert to newcomer status and start all over again.
• If you have occasion to park downtown, do not put money in the meters. In 39 years of parking in Lititz I figure I have saved about $1,529 in nickels and quarters and paid a total of $45 in parking fines.
• General Sutter never served a day of military service in any country in the world.
• Drive 39 miles per hour.
• If you want to add on to your house, just do it. If no one complains, it's done. If someone complains or the borough zoning officer notices, you will be hauled before the Zoning Hearing Board which will severely admonish you for not following the rules and make you promise never to do it again. Either way you have your addition.
• Sign up for an obscure government board (like the Shade Tree Commission). You will have to attend a meeting or two but you will also be invited to the borough volunteer banquet at the Sutter just before Christmas. The crab stuffed filet is worth any inconvenience and all of the politicians will have to say nice things about you.
• Eat a Roseyburger (try it with sauerkraut & ketchup)
• On very hot nights when your house is just too stuffy or the air conditioner is broken, go to a borough council or school board meeting, sit there in the cool, relax and smile. It will scare the heck out of the elected officials and give you something to laugh about for years.
• If you are in fear of your life and want special attention paid to you by the police, learn to ride a skateboard.
• Plan to be out of town on the second Saturday in August. The annual Rotary Club Craft Show brings tens of thousands of people driving tens of thousands of cars to park in the 800 public parking spaces in Lititz (most of which are unavailable because the craft show takes over Main St.). The Rotarians won't care because the 1,000 plus booths have been rented and paid for a year in advance and there is a waiting list of 500.
• Plan to be in town for the Fourth of July-but plan to WALK wherever you want to go. The parade on the 3rd is a family treat as is the free community day before the parade. Small-town America just don't get no better than this. Put up with inconveniences, chill out, enjoy and consider yourself lucky to be both an American and a Lititzian (or whatever).
• Don't feed the ducks!
• The square is a triangle.
• If you are in the Historic District and make any changes, paint it Colonial Blue (Sherwin-Williams #TK3023).
• The chocolate and the trappy are places of employment.
• The Warwick House, an important historic structure on Broad Street, no longer exists even though it is still there.
• Lititz has a rich colonial and revolutionary history as well as a significant body of knowledge about the "Reedy-era".
• If you want to know something about Lititz history talk to Don Rannels or Ron Reedy.
• If you want to know gardening, join the Lititz Garden Club or the Lititz Historical Foundation.
• The Bill Gates of the mid-19th Century is buried in the Moravian Cemetery.